Woop-Woop! That's the Sound of da Police!
The Article is my headline prediction that I used to fool the police and journalists in my region. This story begins approximately three weeks after that feature ran in the local newspaper.
I had received a lot of publicity as a result of the successful prediction and on my way to meet my printer to put in a new order of business cards, I saw the flashing lights of the local police pulling me over.
I had just parked in the courtyard of the printers when I saw the blue lights in my rear view mirror. I got out and waited by the car to see what they wanted. I instantly recognised one of the officers as one who was in attendance on the day of the prediction. He recognised me and I asked him why I had been stopped. I hadn’t been speeding and couldn’t think of anything as to why they would pull me over. He pointed to my number plates and told me the spacing between the characters were illegal.
It was at that moment that it had dawned on me that I had in fact got ‘show plates’ on the car, not road legal ones. The show plates were placed on when I took the car to the Kimbolton charity car show in Cambridgeshire. I go once a year to display the car along with some friends who also own unusual cars. The number plates were fixed on with Velcro pads and I had forgotten to change them after the show and now I was being pulled over by Nottinghamshire’s ‘finest’.
Woop-Woop! That's the Sound of da Beast!
I was hoping they would show leniency since I had entertained them a few weeks prior, but apparently the officer who was there didn’t like being fooled and was now in the midst of writing me out some paperwork to get even. In an attempt to reverse his decision, I asked him if they had enjoyed the prediction I did with them and the newspaper. He looked at me for a moment and back down at his paperwork and replied ‘No’.
I received a producer, which for those outside of the UK, means I had seven days to take my insurance documents plus identification to my nearest police station to prove who I was. He also gave me a £60 ‘on the spot’ fine for having illegal plates on the car. I thought at first that he was joking but the stern look on his face quickly informed me otherwise, I took the paperwork off him and as they got in their car, he turned and said to his partner:
“Mind Reader, eh? Bet he didn’t see that fucker coming! Hahaha!”
I stood there for a few moments as they drove off, slightly bewildered at the level of professionalism shown to me by essentially a group of people whose wages I make a contribution toward.
I decided to not let it bother me and put it down to experience, even seeing the funny side to his ‘mind reader’ comment. I was in the wrong for not having the correct plates on my car and regardless of his comment, there wasn’t much I could do.
I locked the car and went into the printers, telling my friend about what had just occurred. Of course, he found it hysterical and by the end of the visit, we were both laughing about the event, even though I was £60 lighter in my pocket.
Karma (if you believe in it) manifested itself in a rather sweet and satisfying way the month later. I had received an enquiry through my website from a police officer. He wanted to check my availability for performing at an upcoming event. Rubbing my hands together, I called them up on the number given to me. The officer explained that they had a function coming up and wanted some entertainment, and asked if I could give a quote. Without hesitation I added £60 onto my normal fee, to which he immediately accepted. I particularly enjoyed the warm sense of satisfaction generated from being petty, it’s not something I would recommend but in this situation it felt just and rather rewarding. I remember seeing the officer who gave me the fine on the night of the event and thinking to myself:
“Bet he didn’t see that fucker coming…”